It is going to be hard sharing this reality with you without having you turned off even at the start of it. While you scan through each word, you have me watching the clock tick in hopes of figuring your Boiling Point.
I was thinking about you, what you doing? I am just on the other side of town and thought I should ride down to come see you. I know it’s only been a few years and I got you feeling like you know me well enough to write a book about me – that’s what the truth do. I hate that you still put up the walls, I see through you and I can see that you been hurt before but that wasn’t me. First I want to get in your brain and remain the same after we play this game. With us, getting what’s better than Better is a reality and my goal supersedes any physical pleasure but secondly, we need to get physical, up-close and personal just as we came into this world.
Writing about this got me near excited but your thoughts and presence in my life have me so excited.
For you I’d bite the bullet and kiss the rifle. I feel like I’m losing my mind but it could be worse so I’m sure that I’m fine. Despite the BS I have been through with you all this time you still have me holding on to possibilities; holding onto the word maybe. I have my mind made up, stuck with my reputation and the only option I have left is asking the Lord of what I lack and more. I would consider the time and work I put into you a lost sacrifice.
I don’t write for a reason, this is rather convenient. I’m getting grown now and this is one thing I accept I cannot change. I’m done taking it slow and I really got to have you before my time’s up. Maybe I’m just fucking with you but for sure you know, I want to do something with you. See if I’m gon’ get the same ol’ story chill then I can’t stay. Although I love it here I’ll be damned if I sit around another year dreaming dreams, hoping somehow that you’d bring a twist to the story. I know you may say you like me but not well enough to say you love me or even say YES to me when I propose to you and I think it is at this point I admit that my heart’s survival is my only crime. Inside of me Lord I know is a lie that I’m gon’ be fine and since God and a regret filled coffin are the 2 things I fear, I am glad I tried long before my death and I thank the Lord for this wonderful gift.
I am who I am and that is all I ever want to be.